Author Archive
Tuesday, October 16th, 2007
The vision of one man lends not its wings to another man.
The astronomer may speak to you of his understanding of space, but he cannot give you his understanding.
The musician may sing to you of the rhythm which is in all space, but he cannot give you the ear which arrests the rhythm nor the voice that echoes it.
And he who is versed in the science of numbers can tell of the regions of weight and measure, but he cannot conduct you thither.
For the vision of one man lends not its wings to another man.
-Kahlil Gibran
Now that I’m here and getting settled in it is time to seriously get to work.
If we want to make progress in spiritual life we must be willing to work at it. No one can do that work for us. The responsibility must fall on our own shoulders.
Despite not having the personal association of my spiritual master I feel like he has given me everything I need to perfect my life.
Lord Chaitanya uses the beautiful analogy of cultivating a garden to describe the process of spiritual life. The heart is compared to a garden, and by proper cultivation the garden of the heart bears fruit of love of God.
By the mercy of Guru and Krishna the fortunate living entity receives the seed of the creeper of devotion.
After receiving the seed the from the guru the responsibility falls to the gardener to do the hard work required seed allow the seed to mature and bear fruit.
The disciple receives the seed of the creeper of devotion and then he must very diligently water the creeper, weed the garden, and protect the garden.
The guru inspires faith in the disciple and the disciple must then do the hard work of making spiritual advancement.
He loves his disciples but he cannot give his love to his disciples.
He inspires them to awaken the dormant love of God that is within their own heart.
This cultivation of heart is not dependent on the physical association of the spiritual master but the sincerity and effort of the gardener to attract the mercy of guru and Krishna.
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Monday, October 15th, 2007
. . .therefore it appears beautiful. . .
neyam sobhisyate tatra
yathedanim gadadhara
tvat-padair ankita bhati
sva-lakshana-vilakshitaih
O Gadadhara (Krishna), our kingdom is now being marked by the impressions of Your feet, and therefore it appears beautiful. But when You leave, it will no longer be so.
(SB 1.8.39)
This beautiful prayer was offered by Queen Kunti just as Krishna was leaving Hastinapur to return to Dwarka. Throughout her life Krishna had protected Queen Kunti and her children through a host of practically unbearable difficulties. After suffering so many years of persecution and hardship they endured the battle of Kuruksetra and won their rightful kingdom. Then Ashvattama killed the Pandava’s children while they were sleeping and then he released the Brahmastra weapon to kill Arjuna’s grandson and the only heir to the throne. And again Krishna protected the Pandava’s.
And after all these difficulties the only thing Queen Kunti prays for is more difficulties and reversals so that she may be able see Krishna more and more, and therefore no longer have to see repeated births and deaths.
In this verse she is glorifying Krishna by saying that their Kingdom is beautiful because it is marked by His footprints, but when He leaves it will no longer be beautiful, in the previous verse she compares Krishna to the soul of the body of their kingdom. A person’s body is beautiful as long as the soul is present but once the soul leaves no one is attracted to the remaining dead corpse.
In similar I way feel that the soul of my little cyber-kingdom has departed. Now that I no longer have Radhanath Maharaj’s association my kingdom no longer appears beautiful.
Unfortunately I became proud thinking that whatever beauty was there was due to myself but now that he is gone I see that whatever beauty was there was only due to his presence.
I pray that I may never forget that any beauty or opulence I posses is only by his mercy and that whether in his physical presence or absence the kingdom of my consciousness will always be beautified by the dust of his lotus feet.
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Friday, October 12th, 2007
Unfortunately the school is directly in the middle of the Govardhan city which means it is quite crowded and noisey. Externally not the ideal place for bhajan. In such an environment it is difficult to feel the Vrindavan mood. Fortunately I’ve had a couple experiences of it.
Yesterday, for the first time, I did manage to sneek away on a japa walk, I just started walking down the road until I got out of the city and then started walking down a small path through pastures and farm land. I saw calf tied up, he was very beautiful, he was a different breed than the normal Vrindavan cows, he was very short, kind of like a miniature cow. The full grown cows of this species are little more than waste high. He was mooing and looked lonely so I walked a little ways into the field. We quickly became friends. Cows are such loving creatures. After spending sometime with him I figured I should probably be on my way. He looked sad but it was getting late and I need to get back. After I made it back to the road and had walked a few yards an Elderly Vrajabasi lady passed me. Then all of sudden I heard the calf mooing over and over again he was so excited as soon as he caught sight of her. She was very loving call out “Ajao! Ajao!” which means “Come! Come!” the calf got so excited that he uprooted the little bush that he was tied to and ran up the steep embankment to get to her, and then together they started running down the road to meet his mother. It was one of those special sights that are unfortunately more and more rare these days. I felt privilidged to witness the love that they shared, it was an intimate glimpse into the mood of Vrindavan.
Today I took my first trip to visit one of the very sacred places of Radha and Krishna’s pastimes in my stay thus far, just a hundred yards down the road from us is Dhana Gati, the place where Radha and Krishna perfrom their tax collection pastime. Then from there I walked another kilometer or so to a very secluded spot just at the base of Govardhan. I sat there under the shade of small tree amidst frolicking monkeys to chant japa. After I had chanted for some time an elderly Vrajabasi lady came just near to where I was sitting, she had a container of water and milk to bath a few Shilas that were on a small makeshift altar, as well as flower and incense to worship them with. The simple way in which she worshiped those Silas was so beautiful. You could see that she had been doing this for her entire life, and in her simple Vrajabasi way she loved Krishna. Again I felt so blessed to get a little glimpse into the special mood of the Vrajabasis.
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Friday, October 12th, 2007
A Glimpse into the Vrindavan Mood
Unfortunately the school is directly in the middle of the Govardhan city which means it is quite crowded and noisey. Externally not the ideal place for bhajan. In such an environment it is difficult to feel the Vrindavan mood. Fortunately I’ve had a couple experiences of it.
Yesterday, for the first time, I did manage to sneek away on a japa walk, I just started walking down the road until I got out of the city and then started walking down a small path through pastures and farm land. I saw calf tied up, he was very beautiful, he was a different breed than the normal Vrindavan cows, he was very short, kind of like a miniature cow. The full grown cows of this species are little more than waste high. He was mooing and looked lonely so I walked a little ways into the field. We quickly became friends. Cows are such loving creatures. After spending sometime with him I figured I should probably be on my way. He looked sad but it was getting late and I need to get back. After I made it back to the road and had walked a few yards an Elderly Vrajabasi lady passed me. Then all of sudden I heard the calf mooing over and over again he was so excited as soon as he caught sight of her. She was very loving call out “Ajao! Ajao!” which means “Come! Come!” the calf got so excited that he uprooted the little bush that he was tied to and ran up the steep embankment to get to her, and then together they started running down the road to meet his mother. It was one of those special sights that are unfortunately more and more rare these days. I felt privilidged to witness the love that they shared, it was an intimate glimpse into the mood of Vrindavan.
Today I took my first trip to visit one of the very sacred places of Radha and Krishna’s pastimes in my stay thus far, just a hundred yards down the road from us is Dhana Gati, the place where Radha and Krishna perfrom their tax collection pastime. Then from there I walked another kilometer or so to a very secluded spot just at the base of Govardhan. I sat there under the shade of small tree amidst frolicking monkeys to chant japa. After I had chanted for some time an elderly Vrajabasi lady came just near to where I was sitting, she had a container of water and milk to bath a few Shilas that were on a small makeshift altar, as well as flower and incense to worship them with. The simple way in which she worshiped those Silas was so beautiful. You could see that she had been doing this for her entire life, and in her simple Vrajabasi way she loved Krishna. Again I felt so blessed to get a little glimpse into the special mood of the Vrajabasis.
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Thursday, October 11th, 2007
The Conclusion of the Adventure
The conclusion of the adventure is somewhat anti-climactic. I didn’t faint in ecstasy upon seeing Govardhan.
Maybe you thought I haven’t posted anything for the past few days because once I got to Vrindavan I became mad with love of God and have just been wandering around all the various holy places chanting constantly, crying in ecstasy, and completely forgetting about everything of this world. I wish, but actually it is has just been really hard to get internet access here at Govardhan.
One minor miracle is that I did manage to chant over fifty rounds on the day I arrived in Vrindavan. For those that know how much I’ve struggled with tendinitis for the past six years this is actually quite miraculous.
After a nineteen hour train ride I made it to Mathura and it was a short car ride from there to Vrindavan Krishna Balaram Mandir. I attened the evening kirtan with Aindra prabhu and the morning program the next day, and then it was off to Govardhan.
I made the twenty kilometer journey by auto rickshaw, and after wandering around for a while I eventually found the Srimad Bhagavata Vidyapitham, it is just a hundred yards from Dhana Gati, the center of the Govardhan town, but it is a little hard to find because it is nestled in an alley, from the road you can just barely see the sign.
I’ve been here for two days now, just trying to get adjusted to a new life, a new environment and a new service. And trying to get caught up on memorizing the 36 sutras that they covered in the first week of class that I missed.
Now that I’m here the reality of the situation has set in, the first day it was a little depressing. Nothing worthwhile is easy to attain. Learning the sanskrt and all the books of the goswami’s is a herculean task.
And purifying the heart will require thousands of times more effort. Once I saw the list of one thousand sutras that we are supposed to memorized I realized how lazy I am.
I can only prostrate myself at the feet of the six goswamis, and all of their followers and beg for their mercy in accomplishing this task.
All glories to Sri Rupa Gosvami, Sanatana Gosvami, Raghunatha Bhatta Gosvami, Sri Jiva Gosvami, Gopala Bhatta Gosvami, and Raghunatha dasa Gosvami.
I offer my obeisances to the feet of these six Gosvamis. By offering them my obeisances all obstacles to devotion are destroyed and all spiritual desires are fulfilled.
I am the servant of that person who is a servant of these six Gosvamis. The dust of their holy feet is my five kinds of foodstuffs.
This is my desire, that birth after birth I may live with those devotees who serve the lotus feet of these six Gosvamis.
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Saturday, October 6th, 2007
“Giriraj will fulfill all your desires.”
It is now time to make my final departure for Vrindavan, and then on to Govardhan. It has been a little difficult the past few days because I have been too excited to sleep, my mind is just racing a million miles an hour. The lack of sleep and the jet lag has made it really difficult to stay awake during Maharaj’s classes, but I guess that is a major part of the purification. And I’ve also been feeling like I should have already been at Govardhan so it has been a little difficult to enjoy the association of all my wonderful senior god brothers here.
This morning just after Maharaj finished breakfast I went into his quarters just to inform him that I would be leaving today. He had this very surprised look, and exclaimed, “Already.” The way he responded totally put me at ease and just made me feel that he would be happy if I did nothing other than just be with him. It was a very sweet and sincere gesture on his part.
Then he asked me when I was leaving, I told him that I would leave tonight at 8:00 pm, and he told me to come and see him before I leave.
The time to leave was approaching, I was getting nervous, everything was packed but I still needed to meet with Maharaj. As soon as I walked out of my room I see Maharaj walking towards me on the way to his room. You never know when you will get a darshan will Maharaj, sometimes you try so hard and it doesn’t work out and sometimes it is just meant to be.
Maharaj motions to me and we walk together to his room. He sits down behind his low desk, reclining against the circular pillow. Maharaj is very approachable yet at the same time very grave and thoughtful.
He blessed me with some very kind words that were way beyond what I deserved but it was just amazing to see the genuineness with which he spoke them and how he views his disciples.
I thanked him for allowing me to travel with him out and in his natural humility he replied, “It was wonderful to have your association.”
I asked him if he had any final instructions and he said,
“Be Submissive. Have a good service attitude. Have nice Sadhana. Do these three things and don’t make offenses and Giriraj will fulfill all your desires.”
Then Maharaj reached out his hand to embrace me, I crawled over to him and as he embraced me and pulled me close to him I grasped his foot and placed my head on his foot.
What more could I possibly ask for. Now I just pray that I may be able to take full advantage of this incredible opportunity that is being giving to me.
Here a few pictures from the weekend.
Thier Lordships Shri Shri Radha Gopinath, and the newest editions to the altar, the elephants, they were a special Radhastami decoration but Maharaj liked them so much that they are a permanent addition to the altar.
Swami Radhanath and Radhanath. Maharaj personally named him Radhanath, he is a very special child.
Radhanath and Govinda. He loves kirtan, and like everyone else he loves Govinda Prabhu.
I took advantage of the opportunity to pay a visit to our local neighborhood devotee dentist Murlidhar Prabhu, he is a true transcendentist. It is actually quite embarrassing excepting such a menial service from such a great vaishnava. I am sure there is a special hell reserved for people like me, or maybe just leprosy for ten thousand births.
The Bhagavatam classes Saturday and Sunday morning were wonderful, the temple room was at full capacity with 800+ devotees in attendance both days.
The Sunday feast is just an ocean of devotees. From a material perspective it can be quite an austerity but from the transcendental perspective there is nothing more beautiful than so many souls re-connecting with Krishna. The ocean of devotees here is ever expanding, you really get the feeling that soon this ocean will flood the entire planet.
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Friday, October 5th, 2007
Radhanath Swami arrives in Mumbai
Maharaj arrived here in Mumbai today, after having darshan of Shri Shri Radha Gopinath he gave a short talk and very sincerely thanked the devotees for their efforts in Krishna consciousness.
He spoke about the wonderful service that Gopinath Prabhu offered to Syamsundara Prabhu by donating two thirds of his liver. After glorifying this wonderful act he also quoted one of the doctors from Bhaktivedanta Hospital who told Gopinath Prabhu that the greatest complication in this surgery could be the pride that comes from making such a great sacrifice. The he said, “I wonder whose lectures he has been listening to?” and laughed.
Maharaj will be giving the morning Bhagavatam Classes on Saturday and Sunday, and the Sunday feast lecture, and probably lots of other classes after that but I will make my departure Sunday evening after the program.
“Adieu. Adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow.”
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Thursday, October 4th, 2007
The Germs of Material Activity and The Boils of Envy
One more detail from my last conversation with Maharaj in London.
As he was speaking to me about boils he shared a verse with me which he said was a very important part of his spiritual life during the time that he suffered from boils.
vaigunya-kita-kalitah
paisunya-vrana-piditah
dainyarnave nimagno ‘ham
caitanya-vaidyam asraye
I am infected by the germs of material activity and am suffering from the boils of envy. Therefore, falling in an ocean of humility, I take shelter of the great physician Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
Caitanya Caritamrita, Antya Lila 5.1
There is no doubt that I am diseased, and here is the remedy. Falling in an ocean of humility I have to surrender to the great physician Lord Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, and accept the medicine.
What is the medicine?
In one song Bhaktivinode Thakur describes how Lord Caitanya is calling out to the fallen souls “I have brought the medicine to destroy your illusion, now just accept this Harinam Mahamantra.”
The Hare Krishna mantra is certainly the medicine for destroying our illusion and material contamination.
In addition to chanting the names of Krishna, hearing and chanting about Krishna’s pastimes are the especially powerful formula for curing the material disease of the heart.
The entire Bhagavatam is aimed at curing the disease of the heart, and the ultimate solution recommended by Srimad Bhagavatam is to hear the descriptions of Krishna’s transcendental pastimes, especially his pastimes with the gopis, and especially the Rasa Lila.
This is explained further in Sri Caitanya Caritamrta, in the fifth chapter of the Antya Lila, verses 45-50.
When one hears or describes with great faith the pastimes of Lord Krishna, such as His rasa dance with the gopis, the disease of lusty desires in his heart and the agitation caused by the three modes of material nature are immediately nullified, and he becomes sober and silent.A transcendentally sober person who, with faith and love, continually hears from a realized soul about the activities of Lord Krishna in His rasa dance with the gopis, or one who describes such activities, can attain full transcendental devotional service at the lotus feet of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Thus lusty material desires, which are the heart disease of all materialistic persons, are for him quickly and completely vanquished.’
If a transcendentally situated person, following in the footsteps of Srila Rupa Goswami, hears and speaks about the rasa-lila dance of Krishna and is always absorbed in thoughts of Krishna while serving the Lord day and night within his mind, what shall I say about the result? It is so spiritually exalted that it cannot be expressed in words. Such a person is an eternally liberated associate of the Lord, and his body is completely spiritualized. Although he is visible to material eyes, he is spiritually situated, and all his activities are spiritual. By the will of Krishna, such a devotee is understood to possess a spiritual body.
I pray that with the proper faith I may surrender unto Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu who is the great physician that bestows this most powerful medicine of Lord Krishna’s transcendental pastimes with the gopis and thus be cured of the germs of material activity and the boils of envy.
“May the pastimes of Sri Krishna reduce the miseries existing in the material world and nullify all unwanted desires. The pastimes of the Supreme Personality of Godhead are like Sikharini, a blend of yogurt and sugar candy. They overpower the pride of even the nectar produced on the moon, for they distribute the sweet fragrance of the concentrated loving affairs of Srimati Radharani and the gopis.”
-Caitanya Caritamrita, Antya Lila 1.128
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Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
Radhanath Swami Bhagavatam Class at Soho St.
When Maharaj left Italy to go to back to London, I went with the Slovenian devotees back to Slovenia. I was a little sad to be miss Maharaj’s visit to London, especially the Friday evening program with the Local Gurukulis, but duty called. The trip to Slovenia was really wonderful, the devotees there are so sweet and sincere, you would have to be to tolerate me.
After spending the weekend in Slovenia I flew to London. Sundar Govinda Prabhu’s and his wonderful wife Haripriya Devi were kind to invite to their home. Early the next morning I caught the train into London for for morning Bhagavatam class with Maharaj. Even though I was only in London for one full day I was happy to get to attend at least one program with Maharaj, and of course it is always a great joy to see so many dear god brothers.
Maharaj was speaking about focus. I was trying to pay attention but I was tired and my mind was not cooperating. Maharaj got my attention by using me as an example, “I remember when I used to visit New Raman Reti, our dear Gauranga Kishore used to drive me, and while driving he used to ask me philosophical questions, and as far as I could tell he would not be aware of what was going on the road. It is a very important principle to be absorbed in Hari Katha but we must be aware of time, place, and circumstance.” Everyone of course was laughing.
I always like when Maharaj makes everyone laugh by using me as an example, I am too stupid to do any important service but at least I can be of some service to Maharaj if he can use my stupidity to make everyone laugh.
During my teenage years I used to drive Maharaj around and I really was not aware of proper vaishnava etiquette or how to serve Maharaj properly. Now I know how serious Maharaj take safety in cars but at the time I had no idea. At one point he was instructing me to be more careful while driving. I told him, “I know that I am not a good driver and I would not be surprised if I end of in an accident but I figured that as long as you are in the car Krishna will protect us.” Maharaj responded, “That is not devotion. Mother Yashoda does not think that Krishna is God, I don’t have to protect him.” I was very grateful to receive such a beautiful instruction in how to serve guru.
I remember one time in the car somehow we started speaking about some bhajan, then Maharaj started singing it, and instead of keeping my hands on the steering wheel I started using it as a Mrdanga to play along to Maharaj singing. He stopped singing. And I realized how careless I was being.
“Bhakti means attention to detail.”
After the class the devotees invited me upstairs to eat breakfast with Maharaj, I reluctantly went up to where Maharaj was but when it was time to eat I tried to sneak away. I felt bad leaving without saying anything to Maharaj. I wanted to offer my respects but at the same time I didn’t want to disturb him so I walked out of the room in such a way that he would see me leaving. He saw and called me back, “Where are you going?” I came back in and Maharaj asked me about how my boils were doing. Then again he started talk about his experiences with boils, he started telling me about when he and my father were both very sick, they were in Pittsburgh just laying on the floor suffering and chanting Hare Krishna, Maharaj’s body was covered with boils, he had twelve boils just in his nose, and the doctors told him that if he touch them the infection would spread to his brain, and my father was also in extreme pain, he had a huge cancerous tumor on his spine, although at the time he didn’t know what it was.
He also told one story that I was very happy to hear from him personally. Earlier this year he took Balaramachandra Prabhu, Chaitanya Prabhu and Myself to Athens Ohio where he used to do his college preaching programs. He told us how he used to preach, and I was amazed at how hard he worked to preach Krishna Consciousness to the youth of America. Previously I heard that one time he even collapsed on the vyasanana, but I didn’t know any details about this incident, and it sounded so unbelievable that I wanted so direct confirmation. Then today he fulfilled this desire of mine, he was explaining about how sick he was with boils. He said that his body had become so poisoned due to all these boils that once as he was about to begin a lecture at a college and he fell unconscious. He laughed it off by saying, “Luckily it was a class on mystical religious experience so everyone just thought I was giving some kind of demonstration.” Then he said, “Maybe it was a mystical religious experience.”
As Maharaj was talking others were sitting to eat, I was just near Maharaj listening, when it was time to eat I started to walk away and Maharaj gestured that I should sit down and eat. I used to eat with Maharaj all the time, he would always invite me, but I can’t remember the last time I ate with him, I just don’t feel comfortable in that situation. But on Maharaj’s instruction I sat down.
Sometimes the dog waits for the master to finish eating and eats the remanants but occasionally the master is feeling especially merciful and he throws the dog some food even while he is still eating. What can I say somehow I am like a dog but I have taken shelter of him and he, being very compassionate vaishnava cannot reject me.
I took the incident in class as an instruction that now I need be exclusively focused on my studies at Govardhan. Classes actually started yesterday, I will be over week late by the time I reach Govardhan. I did get permission from the school but now that my little vacation is coming to a close it will soon be time again to be very focused on my specific service of studying.
But before that I still have a few days of vacation left. I’ll be in Mumbai for four days before going to Govardhan. I am very much looking forward to seeing all my Godbrothers, and of course I will get to see Maharaj, for one last time before I begin at Govardhan.
Here are a few pictures from the past few days.
The most gorgeous Shri Shri Radha Londonisvara.
Radhanath Swami chanting “Jaya Radha Madhava” at Soho Street Temple, London.
Ananta Prabhu, was kind of enough to allow me travel through Italy with him and the Slovenian devotees, and then they were kind enough to invite me to Slovenian for the weekend.
Lalita Govinda Prabhu, the saint of Slovenia, he is such a wonderful, sweet, loving, devotee, his humility breaks your heart. The trip to Slovenia is worth it just to have your association.
“Sukadeva Goswami Escaping from the Womb” greets all guest as they enter the ISKCON Slovenia property. The building used to be a prison during WWII, and this a statue to honor the one luck soul that escaped alive.
Shri Shri Pancha Tattva, the presiding deities of Slovenia. They are a hidden gem nestled in the mountains of Slovenia.
Holy Food, one of the nice Hare Krishna restaurant, prasadam distribution programs I’ve seen, it is right in the heart of the main university in Slovenia with over 50,000 students. And the food is great.
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Monday, October 1st, 2007
The Price of Krishna Consciousness
Sridhar swami in his commentary, he explains that the word sattvena, which means the mode of goodness, in practical application means that we must be patient. This is one of the most essential items of devotional service. Patience.
Rupa Goswami says that we must be enthusiastic with patience and confidence. Patience is a symptom of surrender. Without patience, our surrender is hollow and incomplete. We must execute Krishna conscious principles with great great enthusiasm. But we are not fruitive workers. We are not doing business with Krishna. When Lord Nrsimhadeva offered Prahlad maharaj benedictions, he could have chosen to go back to Godhead or anything.
But he said, my Lord, I am not here to do business with you. I am not a fruitive worker that I have performed my service and remained faithful with the expectation that you’ll give me something. I have done it for your satisfaction. The one thing a devotee wants is a pure heart.
narayana-parah sarve
na kutascana bibhyati
svargapavarga-narakesv
api tulyartha-darsinah
(SB 6.17.28)
For the devotees of Lord Narayan, whether they are in heaven, hell or in mukti, it makes no difference. Their only concern is to serve. So we want a pure heart. Because purer the heart, the more pleasing our service will be. Whether Krishna wants to send us to heaven or hell to Goloka or Vaikuntha, wherever He wants me to please Him, I’ll be there. But just give me a pure heart, so I just have that motive, that sincerity of purpose.
But after years of hearing and chanting, after years of working so hard, after years of giving up so much of what is precious to ordinary beings - our health, our youth, still the ego is there. The lust, the anger, the envy the pride, the illusions are there. Why? I’ve tried once, I’ve tried twice? How many times have I dressed Radha Gopinath? How many times I’ve completed my 16 rounds? How many times have I bowed down and said Vancha Kalpa tarubhyas ca to the Vaisnavas, How many books have I distributed? How many risks have I taken? How many people have I brought to Krishna Consciousness? How many times have I become sick, invalid, and gone on with my service? But still my heart is not pure.
Patience means Krishna, “I am going to be always examining and re-examining the quality of my service and the intentions of my service. Because if I am not pure, perhaps I am not doing it right. Perhaps there is some flaw. Perhaps I am making offenses”. So we can’t just be patient. If you’re making aparadhs, if you’re negligent of certain vaisnava principles, you could be patient for millions of births.
So we always have to be scrutinizingly examining and re-examining what is the quality of my sadhana, my bhajana, my seva, my relationship with Vaisnavas, and what is the inner content of my heart when I am performing it. Am I doing it for pratistha? For recognition? Or am I doing it to please Krishna, to please Guru, to please Vaisnavas. And while carefully practicing this way, if it takes our whole life, if it takes hundreds of millions of births, it doesn’t matter, because I know, when it is pleasing to Krishna, He will deliver me. I am His servant.
na dhanam na janam na sundarim
kavitam va jagad-isa kamaye
mama janmani janmanisvare
bhavatad bhaktir ahaituki tvayi
[Cc. Antya 20.29, Siksastaka 4]
“O Almighty Lord, I have no desire to accumulate wealth, nor to enjoy beautiful women. Nor do I want any number of followers. What I want only is the causeless mercy of Your devotional service in my life, birth after birth.”
I do not want money, I do not want women, I do not want followers, disciples. I don’t even want liberation. I only want to serve you birth after birth after birth unconditionally. Unconditional service means patience. Whenever Krishna desires, He will deliver me. It is His promise:
man-mana bhava mad-bhakto
mad-yaji mam namaskuru
mam evaisyasi satyam te
pratijane priyo ’si me
(BG 18.65)
Always think of Me, become My devotee, worship Me, and offer homage unto Me and in this way you’ll come to Me without fail.
Srila Prabhupada explains the essence of patience. “Patience is necessary for developing the confidence that Krsna will certainly accept me because I am engaging in devotional service. One has only to execute service according to the rules and regulations to insure success.”
We worship the Deities as Krishna Himself. We honor every living entity as part of Krishna. We worship and respect every Vaisnava with maturity. And we carry on this way, chanting the holy name, hearing the glories of the Lord, serving His devotees, with patience and faith. Never to give up. If ever we give up, that means, we are not worthy of Bhakti. If our intention is clear, I’ll go on as long as you want Krishna and when you want to purify my heart, that’s Your business, I’ll never give up. It is that consciousness, that is the price of Krishna consciousness.
Thank you very much.
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Saturday, September 29th, 2007
Radhanath Swami Pics (London and Slovenia)
I didn’t take many pictures of Maharaj because I know it is something he is not so fond of and I was trying to keep a low profile. But Janak Prabhu took some really nice photos of Maharajs visit to London.
London pics here. London initiation pics here
Courtesy of Urukrama Prabhu here are a some pics and videos of Maharaj’s one day visit to Slovenia.
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Friday, September 28th, 2007
Radhanath Swami in Italy
My first day in Villa Vrindavan was really difficult I was exhausted from the previous days travels, I started questioning what I was doing in Italy, and wishing I was anywhere but there. I felt alone in foreign place, I knew very few devotees there, most of Italian devotees don’t speak English. But in the end it turned out to be a wonderful trip, I met many wonderful devotees. I even found some Alachua gurukulis to hang out with. And as always Maharaj was very kind to me the entire trip, much more so than I could possibly deserve. I am very grateful for this wonderful opportunity to have the association of my spiritual master and so many sincere vaishnavas.
Here are a few experiences and reflections from the past few days during my recent travels with Maharaj through Italy.
I was on the computer doing so blog stuff and he walked by and stopped to see what I was doing, and said “You are doing seva.” I was very happy because sometimes I wonder if I am just wasting time with the blog, and it also feels strange just putting my life and person thoughts out on cyberspace for the whole world to see, so it was nice to get confirmation from Maharaj that I was doing a service and not just indulging my over inflated false ego. A few minutes later Maharaj came by and very humbly asked me if I could do some service for him. He said it in such a genuinely humble way, not as a order but a very humble request. I said, “Of course Maharaj.” He walked away and brought back a handful of some type of vitamin or herb capsules and a little cup of water and asked me to empty the capsules into the cup of water. I was overjoyed to be able to do this simple service for Maharaj.
Another time while I was on my computer Maharaj walked by and asked me if I had a cell phone, I said no, but I could get one for him, then he very lovingly smashed me in the face with his beads and walked out of the temple for a late evening japa walk. Being the idiot that I am I didn’t realize that I should have immediately gotten a phone for Maharaj so that when he got back he would have a phone to use, instead I just kept doing emails and chatting, then when Maharaj came back he again asked someone else nearby for a phone, I immediately ran to get a phone but it was too late, someone had already given him one. Maharaj is not easy to serve because he rarely asks for service you have to be really conscious to understand what he wants or will need and then provide it because he probably will not ask.
During the trip to Italy I got to play a lot of mrdanga for Maharaj. Whenever I am playing mrdanga for Maharaj I feel like I have achieved the perfection of life, I feel as if I could be fully satisfied to do this for the rest of eternity. A few times while playing Maharaj looked at me and just gave me this amazing smile of gratitude, thanking me for my efforts. What more could one ask for.
During his last class at Prabhupadadesh Maharaj was thanking all the devotees, he was thanking the devotees and mentioning the different parts of the world that they came from. Devotees from the audience were mentioning different countries that devotees had come from. Someone said “New Vrindaban,” and Maharaj said “No, Gauranga Kishore is from Govardhan.” For sometime I’ve been wondering if I am still a “New Vrindaban devotee” taking some time off to study or if I am now a “Govardhan devotee.” It is now official I am from Govardhan.
And then Maharaj said a few nice words about me and thanked me for coming to Italy. The feeling of being in the presence of the spiritual master or Krishna in his form of the deity and the holy names when they are genuinely pleased with your service is something beyond description.
On a japa walk at Prabhupadadesh I found some grapes in the vineyard that had turned into raisins. So, instead of paying for prasadam I was mostly eating these raisins. One day Sandipan Krishna bought me lunch and I had the Sunday feast which was free but I was eating a lot of raisins. And when it was time to go I collected whatever was left of the raisins in box. The next morning in Slovenia Maharaj saw me, I had some raisins in a bag. Maharaj walked by and said, “Raisins, like Kumbha Mela?” I said, “I do have raisins,” and Maharaj said, “I know.” I was really surprised that Maharaj knew that I was eating raisins, only a couple of other people knew, I guess someone told him, and I was also a little surprised that he remembered the Kumbha Mela when he caught me in a corner eating raisins by myself and told me to break my raw food fast. His memory is quite amazing but more amazing than that is how he is so aware of what I am doing and how I am doing, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, where I have been and how I am progressing.
What has really stood out in my mind during my association with Maharaj this year is just how much of himself he gives in his lectures. Everywhere he goes he speaks for hours on end and he put so much energy into his lectures. In order to inspire the devotees he tells so many stories and he is always so dramatic, and animated, making all kinds of funny sounds just to entertain the devotees and enable to hear for hours on end.
One of the highlights of the Italy trip was on Radhastami during japa period, I sat nearby in order to try and his mood while chanting. First he chanted the full mangalacarana and then with even greater intensity he began to chant the mangalacarana prayers from the Caitanya Caritamrita. He was chanting two verses in particular over and over and with great feeling, “anarpita cirim cirat” and “radha krishna pranaya vikrti.” Then he began his japa, his japa is usually intense but this most intense I have ever seen him chant. It was a special blessing to witness this.
Maharaj is so funny, his lectures have been hilarious, one aspect of Maharaj’s sense of humor is that he likes to play with words. He was meeting with a few devotees from Romania and he told them, “We will go to Rome and do harinam there and dance like maniacs, and then will will all become romaniacs.” He visited Slovenia, which is quite and amazing place but more about that later, and he told the devotees “Due to your love I have become a slave of slovenia.”
He is such an expert preacher. In a lecture at Prabhupadadesh he was glorifying Italy, he likes to do this because he knows that the Italians are very proud of their country. He was speaking about how in every country people think that their country is the best, then he said, “But in my travels I have seen that Italy is the best country.” Everyone loved that, then he glorified the Roman empire, and then he started naming various great persons from italy, Michealanglo, Leonardo da Vinci, etc, then he said Mussolini. It was so great because what was apparently a glorification of Italy turned out to prove exactly the opposite point. The history of Italy is not all glorious. He perfectly proved the point that everyone falsely thinks that their country is the greatest, and revealed the foolishness in such false identification, yet he did it is such a way that all the Italian devotees were able to appreciate his point without being offended.
One of highlight of this years trip has been my first experience of boils. By the time we got to Rome a boil on my thigh made almost any kind of movement excruciatingly painful, not wanting to miss out on the nectar I made the mistake of attempting to go on harinam. Harinam in Rome with Maharaj is not something you want to miss. It is amazing to see Lord Caitanya’s sankirtan party dancing over the ruins of the Roman empire. By the time we made it home it felt like there was a dagger in my leg. I spent the entire next day just laying in bed. Unless you have experienced a boil it is difficult to imagine how painful they can be.
One of the devotees told Maharaj that I was sick with boils, when we saw him at the airport as we were seeing him off he called me over, put his hand on my forehead to check my temperature, and asked me how I was doing. He said “I can sympathize, for years there was not a time I didn’t have a boil. I had hundreds of them.” I knew that he used to suffer from boils but I now I had realization of what this meant. It was not like Maharaj was just laying in bed with people taking care of him. He was doing immense amounts of service during this time. Maharaj likes to quote Srila Prabhupada “A persons greatness has to estimated by his ability to tolerate provoking situations.”
During one lecture Maharaj said “How many people have ever had Malaria.” I raised my hand, Maharaj looked around the room and when he looked at me he lost his train of thought, he paused for a second, it was like he saw something or wanted to say something, but then he just went back into the lecture without saying anything. I took this to indicate some special purification coming my way.
Recently in one lecture Maharaj was speaking about how obstacles are not something that we are prepared for, they are something unexpected, and beyond what we feel like we can deal with otherwise they would not be obstacles. I pray to always remember Lord Caitanya’s instruction, “All obstacles are my servants.” And that despite all the obstacle that may present themselves I am allowed shelter at Govardhan.
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Sunday, September 23rd, 2007
Italian Photo Journal
Welcome to Tuscany. The first thing you see as you exit the airplane.
Have you ever seen such a chill airport?
Maharaj walking with Matsya Avatar Prabhu.
Nitai Gaura Premanande Sankirtan Truck, this thing is amazing, inside is a beautiful temple and there is a large tent and stage that connects to the side of the truck. 
Srimati Radharani’s Lotus Feet, Villa Vrindavan, Radhastami
Shri Shri Radha Vraja Sundar, Villa Vrindavan, Radhastami
The highlight of my visit to Italy, wild Italian grapes.
View From the back of the temple in Villa Vrindaban
Sunrise view from Villa Vrindavan
Italian country side.
Chocolat, devotee owned authentic italian gelateria (ice cream shop)
Tota Gopinath Prabhu, the proprietor of the establishment.
You’ll have to come to India to experience bonafide Gelato prasadam.
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Saturday, September 22nd, 2007
A few Anecdotes
Sunday night at the Manor
Just after I finished blogging Maharaj walked in. He came over and gave me hug. Skype was open on my comuputer so he started looking at my list of contacts. He saw Tamohar Prabhu’s name there. He asked me if I was in contact with him regularly, I said no just for a little while when he was more involved in what was going on in New Vrindaban. Then Maharaj said, did you know his daughter took intiation when I was in Alachua. Being the idiot that I am, I said, “Yes Maharaj, I was there.” Then Maharaj remembered that I was in Alachua. Then I said “I should not have been there. I am like a mosquito following you everywhere you go, disturbing you.” He said “No, you should be everywhere, you are my pride and joy.” I can’t believe how insecure I can be around Maharaj, it is always nice to get such reassurances.
On the way from the airport to the first program at Purandar Misra Prabhu and Saci Devi’s house
The Italian devotees put me in the same car as Maharaj as we drove to Purandar Misra Prabhu’s house. I protested but everything was rushed and I didn’t have time to figure anything else out so I surrendered. It ended up being very sweet Maharaj was in a relaxed mood and he started asking me about how I liked the programs in London, he asked about how my parents were doing and about how the brahmacaris in New Vrindaban were doing. I again mentioned that Govinda Prabhu suggested that I come to Italy for Radhastami. Maharaj very matter of factly said, “Govinda would never tell a brahmacari to attend a wedding. The reason I came to Italy was to attend the wedding of Matsyavatar Prabhu’s daughter.” He called me out, it would have been more honest for me to say that I wanted to be with you in Italy than to try to say that Govinda Prabhu told me to come here. I did ask him and he did sugest that it would be a good a idea but it was really my idea. Despite the chastisement it was still nice to speak with Maharaj, when you are not around Maharaj it can be easy to forget how personal he is. The whole ride Maharaj was in such a relaxed joking mood, Purandar Misra Prabhu is an older italian gentleman, he is very simple devotee. Maharaj was relating to him in such a simple way that he would be able to appreciate, telling him how beautiful Italy is, at one point Purandar Misra Prabhu was looking at a piece of paper with some phone numbers and trying to make calls on his cell phone while driving, Maharaj took the piece of paper from him and told him that he was confiscating it. The whole time Maharaj was laughing.
The morning after Radhastami in Villa Vrindaban
I left in the middle of Bhagavatam class today to use the bathroom and on my way to the bathroom I passed by the kitchen and I could here the class through the speakers, so instead of going back into class I just stayed outside basking in the warmth of the Italian sun and listening through the speakers.
In the afternoon Maharaj saw me and came over and gave me a hug and asked me “Is your health alright?” He noticed I left in the middle of class and wanted to be sure nothing was wrong. I explainded to him that I was listening outside through a speaker, of course I left out the fact that I was being lazy by not coming back in side and just chillin in the sun, then he said did you hear the question that was asked, that was of course the one thing I didn’t hear, he caught me. It was actually a really funny question, the lecture was about cleanliness and one of the mothers asked “How do I keep my house clean when I live with a bear (her husband) and two monkeys (her teenage boys).” Maharaj was just asking because it was such a funny question but Krishna inspired him to catch me. I told him that physically I was fine but I was just mentally sick. he laughed and said that no problem as long as you are physically ok.” It was a joke, he does take mental illness seriously, but it was also as if he was saying just get off the mental platform.
ps. Here’s a link to a lecture that Maharaj gave at the Manor.
http://www.gokulananda.co.uk/?q=node/77
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Friday, September 21st, 2007
The Post Modern Times
Who says philosophy has to be boring?